This Is War

Haven't posted in a while, sorry.
Wow, last post was a bit heavy! Don't know what I was thinking, just in one of those moods I guess.

Back at Uni now and I honestly thought I'd feel great being back, but it's a bit shit. I like the freedom and not having to worry about anyone but myself (selfish, I know) but, half my course are stranded in Portugal, my first lecture back we get bollocked and my flat is practically empty!!!!!
Just kinda wish I was at home again.
Keep thinking about the summer now and how much stuff I've got planned and then next year at uni should be better in terms of living arrangements and my course!

WE FINALLY GET TO PICK OUR MODULES! THANK FUCK!

I've picked mine for the Comms side:
Semester 1: Hollywood Cinema and Language and Culture
Semester 2: Research Methods in Communication and Media (had to pick this if I wanna do a dissertation in my 3rd year!) and Investigative Journalism.

Just need to pick my music modules now and then I'm away! :)
Dead excited.

Today, I found out I'm going on tourrrrrrrrrr! Woohoo!
Katie, said that Dissolvedin/The Lost Boys (yep they've changed their name) are going on tour in July - all booked and there's a space in the van for me :) GET IN!
It's a 10 day tour round the country and I plan on getting absolutely hammered and obviously take note of what's going on.. :P
July couldn't come quick enough if you ask me!

Till next time,
J
x

blah, blah, blah

Hey, you! Just fuck off, ok?

Buh-bye now.

Other news, fuck knows what's happening this week.
- Cancelling photoshoot.
- Fuck knows if Manc is still on.
- Looks like I won't be seeing Katie tomorrow.
- Planet on Sat cancelled.
- Dan's fucking off to Becky's again this weekend so won't see him properly before going back to uni.
- Don't know if I'll see my stepmum, brother and sister before going back to uni.
- Essay in for next Monday not started- am I arsed atm? Fuck no.

In an insanely fucked off mood at the moment.
Fuck knows why, don't fucking care either.

But what fucks me off the most is that I keep thinking about when I'm going to see you again. It's been months since I saw you. I know it's not serious and I don't want it to be. In fact it/we shouldn't be anything at all. I don't want to be the bitch in this. I know what it's like when someone else gets involved and I know the consequences.
But, next time I see you I know I won't be able to resist; that's if it's even like the last time...

However, at the same time, I couldn't give a fuck about you either.

CONFUSED.COM

this aint a love song

Uh Oh.

Turns out the exciting news may be short-lived.

C'mon Jake get your priorities right and stop messing about before she starts to lose interest!





J
x

hard to swallow nasty habits

TONSILLITIS.com

Kills today and I'm finally seeing what the Dr. was talking about when he said they had craters in them.

D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

Shame I've nearly finished the drugs for it.

Smoking doesn't help but, it's hard to swallow nasty habits.


All that being said, I'm getting on it tonight...hopefully!

Last night, I went out for a curry with my dad, nanna and great nanna - it was really nice, really enjoyed it.
When, I got back I sat and chatted with mummy for a bit and whilst chatting I had a facebook friend request from an extremely gorgeous Turkish man that my ex-teacher (and I suppose friend) knows. God knows why he added me but watch this space!

Tried to watch Inglorious Basterds last night, not very successfully mind. I wasn't paying much attention because Katie was telling me some very exciting news about a certain guy so I ended up chatting to her about that for a while. Honestly if this all works out between them it could be magic! :)
I shall try again over the weekend to watch IB though because from what I saw it does look good.

Today, I'm going to Kidderminster with Grandma- so should probably get ready.

Till next time,
J
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Only in Britain!

Cannot believe this was last week and then you check out the post below and that was today! We live in a fucked up world!

Till next time,
J
x

Sunshine

Today the sunshine was beautiful. This was taken it in it's last moments of the day, hopefully it shall be back tomorrow!

Summer Sun

Yesterday me and Amelia drove up to Manchester to drop off stuff at her flat. It was really ace to go for a drive and as always have a few laughs along the way.
We both realised that we're probably going to get dementia - if we haven't got it already!
We also learnt that radio stations nowadays are full of shit. After flicking through our normal radio stations we realised that they all play the same songs on repeat.
Another thing that fucked me off, is that Kerrang! Radio doesn't even play rock music anymore. C'mon Kerrang! get your priorities right, I mean Alanis Morisette? Seriously? Fuck Off.
Later we tuned into ROCK FM hoping to her something a bit heavier than the likes of The Killers, Kids In Glass Houses, You Me At Six etc. but what did we get? Adam fucking Lambert! GetItRight!

Anyway, the sun decided to come out and play yesterday! About fucking time! We were loving it!

Last night Dan and I were supposed to be going to see Deb, Dan and Aimee but that got cancelled - apparently we're going to go to the pub next week instead - so I went to the cinema with Amelia instead. Saw Remember Me again. Love that film, it's sad and a bit depressing throughout - God I'm so cheery.
Haha, we decided to start an argument in the middle of the cinema - which was hilarious! lmao.
Stayed at Amelia's again last night, it's like a second home! haha.

SUNSHINE IS OUT TODAY!
Not a cloud in the sky. Been working in the garden catching some rays. LOVEIT!

Tonight, I'm going out for tea with my Dad and Nanna again. Should be good, same place as last week.

The next couple of days sound good. Maybe Safari Park on Saturday. Winner! :)

Off to enjoy the summer sun now; in a bizzle

Till next time,
J
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P.S DISCLAIMER: All bands mentioned in this post I do like on some level but I just wish they weren't dominating rock radio & yes, I don't mind a bit of Alanis Morisette...oh god, I think I just sold my soul.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

Was up till 05:00AM this morning - sleeping pattern is royally fucked.
Walked the dogs with Amelia today and then took the car for a wash - it's funny how we just laugh at the most stupid things ever.
"What's he doing now?" "Waving his snake around"

"Ohh what a..dickhead"

haha. legendary times.

Going to Manc tomorrow with Amelia. GIRLS ON TOUR.

Till next time,
J
x

Thank You

Dan's out of hospital.
CT scans came back fine, we still don't know what caused the fits but at least he's home now.
Can't wait to see him, apparently he's a lot more himself now and doesn't remember anything from the seizures, which in the long run is probably a good thing.
Honestly, a great weight has been lifted now.

Today, I've been mega lazy. Didn't get up till about 14:30 and then just lazed around at home whilst mum did some cooking haha. She made baked lemon cheesecake and apple pie. By the time I get back to uni I'm going to be even more whale like! Seriously; bless her though she does do a mean job in the kitchen.

So, tonight we went for a meal at Gary's. First time Gary has ever cooked for me and it was super tasty. Mum's pudding went down a treat after too.
Then went for a lovely drink with the girlies after watching a bit of (500) Days of Summer (again!) with the fam.

Eventful drive home, whilst myself and Amelia were have a sneakysnig we got scared on the pub car park (silly I know, but we fall into the habit of scaring each other in situations like that) so in the rush to get in the car and lock ourselves in, Amelia's door wouldn't close so she had to hold onto the door all the way back haha. Now, it was quite funny but as always our minds ran away with us and we started thinking what if a car goes by really fast and causes the door to fling open - to which I said I'd grab you mate and she said good I'm glad, haha. Then I realised if I'd do that we'd veer off the road so I told her and she said that's probably true and then we'd crash and die. Honestly, we're worst when we're together! haha. Still mega funny though. Turns out in our rush to get back in the car a part of Amelia's keyring had got stuck in the door handle outside - therefore stopping it from letting the door close! Haha. What silly girls we are!

On another note, haven't felt too chipper tonight but still enjoyed the catch-up! Tonsillitis feels a lot better, still taking the antibiotics.

Now watching Frank Skinner Live at the NIA. Haha, proper funny. Check it out!

Anyways,
Till next time,
J
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family values

Still no news about Dan even though I've asked the fam about it, but they've not replied so we're still waiting this end.
Genuinely don't know how to feel about this.. I really just hope he's ok.

As for the my dad and stepmum spliting up - I definitely don't think they'll get back together. She didn't even tell him that Dan had gone into hospital, he had to find out secondhand which obviously isn't right - but she had her reasons and Dan is her main concern. I only hope that me and our Dan can be there for her and support her as much as we can.

Tonight, I went to my Nannas for a Sunday lunch with my Dad (who's living with her atm) and my Great Nanna. Was a really nice evening but as normal when everyone's had a glass of wine of two it ending in tears about things that have happened over the last decade. Things I barely remember.

Being in that house makes me truly sad because everything is a constant reminder of my Grandad. How can you miss someone your barely remember or knew so much. God, I wish he was here.

My Dad, royally upset me tonight. He said that he didn't care about helping me out with like picking me up from Uni etc. now, my nanna says he's lying and he does care but my dad says that my uncle has picked me up more times and that I never call him. But I'm sorry dad it swings both ways. You never call me, you didn't even call me to tell me you split up with your wife and you always blew me off when I came home - even when I gave you a weeks notice about me being back. So fuck you. Fuck you big time.

Right, off to watch Lost and then (500) Days of Summer to get my mind off things.

Till next time,
J
x

into the void

Dan had another seizure through the night.
Still don't know what's causing them and if he'll be ok.
Fingers crossed we'll get some good news soon.
Love you Dan.

Till next time,
J
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The Downward Spiral

Just found out my stepbrother was taken into hospital today because he had a seizure.
Apparently he's staying in hospital overnight and should be home tomorrow.
It all seems to have come out the blue - Aimee said that he'd been feeling off all day and then around 8ish he collapsed on the floor and had a fit in front of his mum, Aimee and his girlfriend.
Hope he gets better soon. Love you Dan.

In other news, went to the clinic - I've got tonsillitis so hopefully with the antibiotics I'm taking it'll go soon!
Remember Me was heart-wrenching at the end and really harrowing to watch throughout - I really loved it! :)
Also loved the new Doctor Who surprisingly. Still Matt Smith is no David Ten-inch. Fact.

Sunday dinner with Dad tomorrow - should be good.
Right off to bed.

Till next time,
J
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Morning After Dark

Ok, just a few more blogs and you're up to date.

28th March 2010

Ok, so I've not blogged since Friday and I have a lot to tell you.

To start, went to Manchester and I was dead excited seemed to take an age to get there! Just before I got on the train Katie told me that her's was delated so she wouldn't be getting in to Manchester till 18:45 instead of 18:20 as planned.

When I arrived at Manchester Piccadilly I had to wait for Katie to get in only to find that the train had stopped and she was going to be even later.

So, I got some food and some cigarettes and gorged on both :P

Then Katie's train arrived and I met her at the platform - was so ace to finally meet her, she was lovely.

Off to Sainsbury's we went and basically bought them out of all the alcohol they had! haha - we were definitely getting on it at the hotel!

Got to the Britannia and OMG the service is so slow! Finally got into ours rooms and they were beautiful! Definitely worth £63!

Dumped our stuff and went to meet the guys - they were so drunk so I knew it was gonna be an epic night!

I got really wasted and ended up going to my room with one of Jake's friends Damien - and lets just say we didn't really talk...

Then when the guys went out they set off the fire alarm in the hotel - so everyone had to be evacuated!! I had no shoes on and we were so scared we were gonna get the blame that we went for a walk around Manc - ripped all my tights because of it! :(

Finally got back to the hotel after three fire engines were called and got in the room to do some work - only we ended up just carrying on drinking and having a good ole gossip.

Later on the guys came back even more drunk and now apparently high - not really remembering much from Satan's. haha legends.

So we just carried on drinking and partying it up.

Then myself and Ben went round the hotel - left Damien in my bed (although I got the impression he didn't want me to leave!) - Ben lit up round the hotel and was smoking then he got told off so we went outside and then when we came back in the porter said he'd have to chuck him out if he walked around half naked again! haha oh dear.

Then we got back and went in Katie's room and just hung around chatting - by this time it was 06:00am, so Katie and Jake sent me and Ben out to get Maccies breakfast! By the time we got back they were fast asleep.

So finally at about 08:00 me and Ben joined Damien in bed and honestly that sleep was the best!

Finally got up around 11:00 - checkout was at 11!!! :O - and we didn't leave till about 12:00 but they locked me out of my room and all my stuff and some of Ben's and Damien's were in there too so I had to go down and ask them to let me in which they did - but then whilst we were all in my room they blocked Katie's card so Ben couldn't get the rest of his stuff from in there so he had to go down and sort that all out! - by this time it was 12:30ish and I had to be on a train and back in Liverpool before 13:30 -wasn't gonna happen!

Finally got on the train at 13:07 and told mum it had been delayed, oops.

Then, arrived in Liverpool at 14:00 and went a finished packing then headed home :)

Rest of Saturday was pretty standard, saw Amelia for a bit told her about the night before. Saw the grandparents and just chillaxed.

Went to the pub tonight to catch up with everyone. Was good. Nice to be home and it's funny how you slip right back into your old life when you're here. Miss Liverpool though.

Till next time,

J

x

29th March 2010

Today, I've been mainly feeling like shit. Seriously, haven't got rid of this sick feeling all day.

Was supposed to be going to Cardiff with Katie tomorrow - she said she's got some personal stuff to deal with - mainly about her and her ex-bf's flat- but that isn't happening now so a bit gutted.

BUT, today the Reading/Leeds line-up was announced! BLINK 182!!!!! Dead excited. Got my Reading day ticket for Sunday to go with the brother and his gf - gonna be sick!

My bank account has took a proper beating the last few days - Dan and Becky better pay me back!

On another note - been back from Uni and Manchester two days now and I've still not unpacked! FML! Reaaaaaaally cannot be arsed!

Till next time,

J

x

30th March 2010

Still feel really ill - starting to worry about it now, hopefully it'll just go away because I can't be dealing with this shit. Thing is the more I worry the sicker I feel but I can't help but worry...it's an never-ending cycle.

Anyway, today I found out that another night of madness in Manchester is on the cards. 16th April baby - Radisson! Get in! Gonna be messy.

Right, off for a drive with Amelia :)

Till next time,

J

x

30th March 2010

Drive with Amelia was good - went everywhere and had a good old chat about recent events :)

Apparently, I'm going to Leeds tomorrow! Last minute, I know but that's how my life seems to be at the moment so I'm just going with it.

Katie's prepping for a meeting on Thursday and wants me to come help out and keep her company. Gonna be amazing.

Right, need sleep - gotta be up at the crack o'dawn!

Till next time,

J

x

31st March 2010

In the Radisson in Leeds. Sick.

Till next time,

J

x

31st March 2010

Just got back from Leeds. Today was pretty sweet. Hung out with Katie - couldn't get much done about planning the tour as the info we needed wasn't available :( still nice to hang out and chat until Jake arrived.

Katie told me more stories about her and the ex - all sounds like a whirlwind romance, I tells you. I have a feeling they'll work it out though..

Also, today I've realised once again what a shithole Wolverhampton is. Full of drunks and junkies as well - and they're not even the nice friendly ones! Never felt quite so scared sitting in that bus stop - glad to be home after that.

Haven't felt as sick today - good sign? I hope so. Still waiting though..

Till next time,

J

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1st April 2010

Today I found out why I've been feeling so ill - I'm pregnant.

Shit.

-

-

-

-

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

I'm not pregnant.

But, today I did manage to break my iPod by dropping it in the fucking toilet! FMFL!

I might actually die without it - no exaggeration.

Also, have an insanely bad throat today - tonsilitus? Probably.

Off for a curry in a bit with the pa, bro and nana - should be good.

Till next time,

J

x

2nd April 2010

Going to York with the Fam today - should be a top day.

Shopping <3

Till next time,

J

x

3rd April 2010

Finally I have internet at home!! Waheyyy! Expect more frequent blogging now.

York was wonderful yesterday - such a beautiful city.

Lovely to spend time with the family too and had such a wonderful meal at Betty's Tea Rooms :)

Clinic today.

Cinema later to see Remember Me - shall report back tomorrow.

Till next time,

J

x

P.S I dodged the bullet.

Snakes and Ladders

So, here's a few more of the blogs I promised.

23rd March 2010

So, turns out Dan the lead singer in DissolvedIN the band that Katie works with most isn't going to be around tomorrow so the meeting has been cancelled. G.U.T.T.E.D.

I was well looking forward to it, but oh well I told her that after Uni finishes this week I'm free for the next three weeks if she's got anything going on.

I hope that it will happen because I've got really excited about this and I want to get involved in the industry.

Anyway, I can't wait for Saturday now. Looking forward to getting home and seeing everyone I kinda miss my old life.

Till next time,

J

x

24th March 2010

So, today has royally sucked. Instead of spending the day in London/Reading or even Sheffield I slept all day because of my fucked up sleeping pattern. Now it's 21:30 and I'm not even close to being tired so the cycle continues.

Also, Josh my flatmate, has gone away on a field trip today and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. Oops. See you in three weeks Griffiths!

Anyway, after a really shit day I'm gonna try and get back into watching Lost to cheer me up :) WINERRRRRR.

Laters.

Till next time,

J

x

25th March 2010

Today is my last day of lectures before Easter. Really cannot be arsed to go in but wants to say goodbye to people.

Till next time,

J

x

25th March 2010

So, the lectures today were pretty pointless and half my course weren't in but it was still nice to say bye to the people that turned up and of course had my daily banter with Samuel.

I love when you find a friend who you can just take the piss out of and wind up and no matter what you know none of it will be taken to heart - you both know it's a joke.

Just me and Ben in the flat atm. Good job we're getting on.

Still, only one more day and I'm back home :) GET IN!

Must pack tomorrow or mother will kill me.

Till next time,

J

x

25th March 2010

OMG. Katie just tweeted me and asked if I was up for a party in Manchester tomorrow with a couple of her friends. HELL YES!

Staying at the Britannia Hotel :) Canny wait to finally meet her!

I can't believe how well we get on and I've not even met her in the flesh yet.

EXCITED.com

Till next time,

J

x

26th March 2010

Ok, so I'm officially shit.

Mum's coming to mine tomorrow for 13:30 and I'm going to Manc at like 17:25 today - I've not packed for home yet and I've not packed for Manc - again fuck you sleeping pattern!

Need to get a move onnnnnn.

Still, dead excited though - apparently Katie's friend Jake is bringing a mate who'll need some female attention ;) - Now I'm bricking it.

Right, need to prep - probs blog later.

Till next time,

J

x

26th March 2010

Finished prepping for tonight *winkwink* :P

Starting packing for home now - I mean I've chucked some shoes and a few tops in suitcase without looking.

Manc stuff is being sorted now - eeeeeeeeeeeeeee can't wait to get there - it's gonna be so much fun.

-

Shit.

Just found out that my Dad and Stepmum have split up.

Now it was my stepmum's decision and my dad didn't do anything wrong (this time) but it's because of his past indiscretions that they've split up now. - apparently she couldn't get over it and that they should never have got back together after the last time.

I told her it was the right decision and that I love her and Dan and Aimee and she won't lose contact with me and my brother Dan. (Yes, I have two brothers called Dan - confusing I know)

I'm still really gutted- I love that woman - but will see her next week hopefully.

Right, I'm off to Manchester now. Won't blog till tomorrow.

Till next time,

J

x

Only a few more to come now and then I can start posting my new stuff :)

Till next time guys,

J

x

could this be the start of something great?

Ok, so here are some of the blogs I promised I'd upload - with the dates they were written. Enjoy.

20th March 2010

Ok, so after a few weeks of seeing obsessive fans posts about a certain frontman’s love life I decided to check out what was all the fuss.

From this I found that a girl named Katie was/is in a relationship with this singer or according to his fans ‘may have fucked him’.

But, what was most interesting wasn’t the fact she might have been or was with this man but it was the fact that she was my age and she was a band/tour manager, clothing company designer and owner, alternative model and even owned her own record label.

Now, with me being a student in Communication, Media and Popular Music I was certainly intrigued in finding out how she managed to get where she was, how she started in the business and if she had any jobs going.

So, tonight I emailed her.

It was one of my usual nights where I couldn’t sleep and I just thought I’d take the opportunity to email her on the email she left me on the devil’s site Formspring.me

To my great surprise she emailed back almost straight away; after general introductions and me stating what I was interested in we exchanged AIMs to chat more conveniently.

So of course we started chatting straight away and really hit it off.

Katie said that I was ‘full on’ and that I’d get to sit in on meetings for both the music and clothing side and that I was welcome to come along to as much of it as I would like - even when she was just sat around designing with her boyfriend, friends and associates. The whole time I was thinking HELL YES! This is going to be amazing.

Further to us chatting she chose to confide in me and tell me about her boyfriend -who by the way sounds like a right babe and I can’t wait to meet him.

Honestly, the chat just kept getting better and better and I really can't wait to see her in the flesh and get the ball rolling with possible work.

Katie says that there are meetings next week with Kerrang! Which she’s invited me along to.

Honestly.Cannot.Wait.

Will report back with more later

Till next time,

J

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21st March 2010

Well, today like most of my weekends at Uni I spent all day sleeping after staying up most of the night to talk to Katie - mind you I wasn’t tired anyway.

My sleeping pattern is fucked! Seriously. I think I’m slowly developing some sort of insomnia.

Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my life away. I feel like I’m either walking around in my own little world because I’m too fucked or too tired - I can see I’m only going to scrape through this year at Uni and although that’s fine I’ve had it drilled into me that that is not good enough. Hence why I want to do something that I know I will enjoy with some sound as fuck people and maybe get somewhere where my family will actually be proud of me and not see me as a disappointment for not studying a traditional subject.

But, oh well I’m gonna try and do something for me for once after all I’m the only one who can make something of my life.

Anyway - sorry for the deep meaningful mumbo jumbo just needed to get a couple of things off my chest.

Till next time,

J

X

21st March 2010

So, tonight I went for cocktails with my lovely friend Laura and her on/off boyfriend Anthony. Was really good to go out with them as to be honest I haven’t really been that sociable lately - I just haven’t been in the mood to go out and have had a ton of work to do. Really cannot wait for Easter just to relax and not have to worry about deadlines.

Anywho, yeah cocktails. I’ve made it my mission to try every cocktail on the menu at The Font either by the end of this year or at least by the time I finish Uni.

So after getting incredibly fucked off of copious amounts of alcohol Laura and I went to get food whilst Anthony picked up. God, I’ve not had green in what seems like forever!!! So, I was looking forward to a joint or two buttttttt, Anthony fucked off somewhere so I didn’t get any :(

Whilst this was happening I spoke to Katie on Twitter; she told me to get on AIM as she needed someone to talk to and to expect bad news. I knew this couldn’t be good.

Anyway she told me she’s split up with her boyfriend that day after he said something really inappropriate. I’m really gutted for her because even though I know I’ve only been speaking to her for one day but I know she really loves him; it’s obvious. I just hope he gets his act together and apologizes and they can get back on track.

But I plan on cheering her up from now on, especially Wednesday when I see her for the first time - turns out we’re going to London or Reading. Hopefully London; not been for ages.

Told my friends about the work experience because I was too excited to keep it to myself - everyone is really jealous and wants to know what I’m doing, where I’m going, who I’ll meet etc. To be honest - I don’t care if I meet anyone famous or not, yeah It’d be cool but I’m in it for the music and the chance to make a difference in people’s lives. That’s why I’m doing this, that’s why I’m excited.

Till next time,

J

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22nd March 2010

So, the plans for Wednesday are indefinite at the moment. Still, don't know what time I need to be in London or what is actually going on but that's fine I'm still dead excited to be going. Today I had a lecture on Porn! haha I know right. Was pretty epic to say the least- especially when the lecturer kicked off about me and Sam talking at the back, haha oops.

But yeah it was a pretty interesting lecture and led to some cracking one liners such as "penetration is when you know it's porn"

So yeah, I'll leave you with that in mind.

Till next time,

J

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Ok, that's all I can be bothered to upload atm maybe upload some more later - I'll just do it in installments.

So, till next time

J

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Blogging.

So, I used to have a blog on here before but I completely lost track of posting on it.

Logging into my account was weird because I saw posts from December 2008 and well, it was just odd reading over them again and how much I've changed as a person.

Although I haven't posted on Blogspot for over a year it doesn't mean I haven't been writing down my thoughts since then.

But, there's no point putting them up now because they are irrelevant now.

Maybe later I'll post some from the last couple of weeks as it's been quite interesting to say the least.

So, no matter how you've come across my blog enjoy the read and I'm sorry for my ramblings but this blog is more for me than anything or anyone else because I want to be able to look back on how I've changed in years or even months to come.

So, until then

J

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