FML my life.

Ok, so I'm gonna bring you up to speed.

A few months ago (I actually can't remember when) I went out with Mike, who's off my course, and his mates in Liverpool. Eventually it ended up being just me, Mike and his friend Mark - who I've met a few times before.
Anyway, we all went back to mine and somehow stuff started to happen between me and Mark - whilst Mike was in the room (:O classy, I know) So then, not long after Mike said he was going to leave because he was tired and Mark stayed with me. Now, Mike hadn't twigged that anything was going on between me and Mark and even when I saw him the next week he never said anything.
So after that, I think I started to have a little crush on Mark. Except Mark has a girlfriend - who he's been with for like four years. Now, I don't advocate cheating because my dad has cheated on my mum and my step-mum - so, I've seen the repercussions. However, I still feel quite bad about doing it. But, not as bad as I feel about the fact that I like him and the fact that if he ever wanted a repeat of that night I would most likely not be able to say no - the thing about Mark is that he's very charming; he's definitely got the talk and he knows how to make me laugh.

Anyway, after that night I didn't see Mark; until last Thursday. Now again it was me, my friend Laura and Mike and his friends - Mark was one of them. Now, once I found out he was there I was thinking shit it might be awkward between us or whatever but, I was looking forward to seeing him again. So when i saw him it was a little bit awkward it was like a obligatory 'alright' and a nod of the head :/
Anyway after a few drinks it was all good and we had a great chat and a bit of banter - as always.
Now, the other friends that were there were Gary, Michael and Adam. Now I've met Gary a few times before also and he works at one of the bars I go to a lot and we've had some good chats and get on. Adam, I only met early on that day but he seemed like a nice guy and really made me laugh & Michael I've never met before although I did send him a 'rude' picture once hahaha. (At Mike and Mark's request of course :P)
Anyway, Laura and I got proper drunk and ended up making a friend that night - when I say friend I mean one of those people you love when you're drunk and you get on great, swap numbers and then never text each other like you say you will. But, it was fun all the same.
Eventually, we left and Laura, Mike, Mark, Gary and Michael came back to mine. We stayed up all night and carried on drinking all night - as we always do whenever Mike and his friends come back. Eventually, Mark had to leave about 8ish because he had work in the afternoon. Nothing happened between me and Mark this time - I hate to admit I was a bit gutted.
Then about an hour later Mike said he wanted to go and get food and sleep so both he and Michael went and Gary decided to stay and watch the rest of the film we had on. As soon as I came back from letting Mike and Michael out Laura decided she was going to go to sleep and left, leaving me and Gary.

It was alright, we were just having a laugh and everything and then he said do you wanna go on chatroulette and I said alright.
I thought this was a bit odd because I've only met him a few times and I don't know it just felt odd. Anyway, he kept bringing up by boobs and how he he'd heard I'd got them out before on chatroulette - you know hinting at me to get them out. I kept saying nooooo I can't, not in front of you etc.
Anyway (sorry, I've realised I've rambled A LOT) eventually it got to the point where he was touching me and I didn't stop him and then we eventually ended up having sex.
As soon as I did it I thought, oh god what have i done. I know I quite like Mark and I wouldn't regret it if I had sex with him but he's got a girlfriend. Thing is though, Gary also has a girlfriend. I know! I'm a 'bad' person - what makes it worse is she works at the same bar that Gary does, the one that I go to a lot! :( I don't even like Gary that way, that's what I don't get and then after he said to me basically did you wanna start something up on the side and i didn't know what to say so I said maybe. Thing is I don't really want to because, one I don't want to be the 'other woman' and two it could make it extremely awkward between us and between me and Mike.
The whole time I kept thinking I can't tell Mike any of this because he'll hate me blah blah blah. So yeah I really don't know what to do if Gary says anything to me!

Right, last bit now - I promise.
Monday night, me, Laura, her boyfriend Anthony, Dan and Mike went to this pub quiz. Now, earlier on in the day we'd decided to jib our lectures off and go sit in a beer garden and drink. So, we got proper drunk - we were drinking from 1:30 till about 5ish then we came back to mine had food and more drink and then went to the quiz and had even more drink - so it's safe to say I was pretty pretty smashed well, we all were.
Ok, things got a bit heavy when Anthony hit Laura in the stomach during an argument before the quiz - the made up but we were all pissed off about this. Now, I love Anthony normally he's great a really nice guy but that night I saw a different side to him. Anyway we all went off to the quiz - we came second!! wooop! - and Anthony said something really degrading about women and I said no don't say that and then we had an argument and I slapped him and then he shoved me. At this point I was pretty fucked off and stormed off out of there - closely followed by Mike who said he was so glad I'd done that and not just taken it. Laura, bless her, was completely oblivious to all this. Anyway to cut this very long story short more arguments were had when Laura found out what Ant did to me, the pub closed and we left; then Ant stormed off in a huff and we all went on to CaVa - the tequila bar. We went in and guess who was working!!!

Gary...AND his girlfriend! FML my life.

All was good, Gary served me - didn't give me a free drink though did he! Bastard. Hahaha, got a discount though ;)
Now, this is where my memory gets properly hazy. Laura says that I hinted to Mike about something to do with me and Gary - I don't remember. Anyway Mike wouldn't leave it alone and basically Laura took him to one side and told him everything - even about Mark. FML my life - or so I thought. Mike was really great about it all and wanted to know all the details hahaha - he's such a gossip! I asked if he hated me and he said no why, they're the ones in the wrong - thank fuck for that!

Shortly after we left and then I slipped off the curb and bashed my ankle and twisted my knee. FML my life...again!

Perfect way to end the night, eh?
So, more stuff happened after like falling out with flatmates etc. and last night I went to CaVa again but I really I cannot be bothered to bore you anymore. Hahaha. Maybe blog later about the rest :)

Till next time,
J
x

This Is War

Haven't posted in a while, sorry.
Wow, last post was a bit heavy! Don't know what I was thinking, just in one of those moods I guess.

Back at Uni now and I honestly thought I'd feel great being back, but it's a bit shit. I like the freedom and not having to worry about anyone but myself (selfish, I know) but, half my course are stranded in Portugal, my first lecture back we get bollocked and my flat is practically empty!!!!!
Just kinda wish I was at home again.
Keep thinking about the summer now and how much stuff I've got planned and then next year at uni should be better in terms of living arrangements and my course!

WE FINALLY GET TO PICK OUR MODULES! THANK FUCK!

I've picked mine for the Comms side:
Semester 1: Hollywood Cinema and Language and Culture
Semester 2: Research Methods in Communication and Media (had to pick this if I wanna do a dissertation in my 3rd year!) and Investigative Journalism.

Just need to pick my music modules now and then I'm away! :)
Dead excited.

Today, I found out I'm going on tourrrrrrrrrr! Woohoo!
Katie, said that Dissolvedin/The Lost Boys (yep they've changed their name) are going on tour in July - all booked and there's a space in the van for me :) GET IN!
It's a 10 day tour round the country and I plan on getting absolutely hammered and obviously take note of what's going on.. :P
July couldn't come quick enough if you ask me!

Till next time,
J
x

blah, blah, blah

Hey, you! Just fuck off, ok?

Buh-bye now.

Other news, fuck knows what's happening this week.
- Cancelling photoshoot.
- Fuck knows if Manc is still on.
- Looks like I won't be seeing Katie tomorrow.
- Planet on Sat cancelled.
- Dan's fucking off to Becky's again this weekend so won't see him properly before going back to uni.
- Don't know if I'll see my stepmum, brother and sister before going back to uni.
- Essay in for next Monday not started- am I arsed atm? Fuck no.

In an insanely fucked off mood at the moment.
Fuck knows why, don't fucking care either.

But what fucks me off the most is that I keep thinking about when I'm going to see you again. It's been months since I saw you. I know it's not serious and I don't want it to be. In fact it/we shouldn't be anything at all. I don't want to be the bitch in this. I know what it's like when someone else gets involved and I know the consequences.
But, next time I see you I know I won't be able to resist; that's if it's even like the last time...

However, at the same time, I couldn't give a fuck about you either.

CONFUSED.COM

this aint a love song

Uh Oh.

Turns out the exciting news may be short-lived.

C'mon Jake get your priorities right and stop messing about before she starts to lose interest!





J
x

hard to swallow nasty habits

TONSILLITIS.com

Kills today and I'm finally seeing what the Dr. was talking about when he said they had craters in them.

D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

Shame I've nearly finished the drugs for it.

Smoking doesn't help but, it's hard to swallow nasty habits.


All that being said, I'm getting on it tonight...hopefully!

Last night, I went out for a curry with my dad, nanna and great nanna - it was really nice, really enjoyed it.
When, I got back I sat and chatted with mummy for a bit and whilst chatting I had a facebook friend request from an extremely gorgeous Turkish man that my ex-teacher (and I suppose friend) knows. God knows why he added me but watch this space!

Tried to watch Inglorious Basterds last night, not very successfully mind. I wasn't paying much attention because Katie was telling me some very exciting news about a certain guy so I ended up chatting to her about that for a while. Honestly if this all works out between them it could be magic! :)
I shall try again over the weekend to watch IB though because from what I saw it does look good.

Today, I'm going to Kidderminster with Grandma- so should probably get ready.

Till next time,
J
x

Only in Britain!

Cannot believe this was last week and then you check out the post below and that was today! We live in a fucked up world!

Till next time,
J
x

Sunshine

Today the sunshine was beautiful. This was taken it in it's last moments of the day, hopefully it shall be back tomorrow!